I want to write a technical/design article about computer systems and how they treat names.

Based on my knowledge of and social experience with white America, cisgender men almost never have to even give the slightest thought to their name ever changing.

But I wanted to check myself and scope that assertion, if needed. Is men changing names common in other cultures? :boost_requested:

@zigg not in white cishet danish culture, and I think that applies to norwegian and swedish too.

@zigg in Sweden 10% of men to changed their last name, when they got married, in 2013, and it's been increasing since then. But it's not so common to change the first name, AFAIK.


1) I'm here for that reference

but also

2) @zigg I'm wondering if the use of middle names is in scope for you here?

Particularly, in casual context, I use my middle name. For bureaucracy, my given first. I've found use of middle+last to be ... more common than I expected as my life has gone along & have thought more about this than most cisdudes I'd bet.


See also, nicknames, assumptions about common diminuative forms, and suffixes.

Would be keen to toss first-hand observations about those back & forth too if you're interested.

@deejoe @zigg had my first and middle names legally swapped back in 2018, since literally as long as i can remember i've always gone by "[regular name] [other given name initials] [surname]" and never "[other given name initials] [regular name] [surname]" which no database would have respected anyway

@deejoe @zigg but one complicating factor is that i consider these both my given name on equal level and the sequence to be a completely arbitrary concession to inflexible government data collection


alas, if only it were only governments

I think I would instead say 'bureaucracies'


@deejoe @zigg now that you mention it it *had* been a private financial institution that had thrown on the last straw...

@zigg I agree.

When I changed my name before getting married, it set off a fifteen year long seething hatred from my father. It was only the last name but he was upset until I told him I made my old last name a middle name.

It was remarkable how society also resisted that name change: computers, people, and legal.

And my coworkers wonder why I insist on 1:N structures for names, addresses (WTF), and emails. And they push back so hard against even those.

@dmoonfire Oof. It always kind of stuns me a little when I find out just how invested one person is in another's identity, to the point they actively resist that other person identifying in a truer way.

@zigg Czech here; men changing names is extremely uncommon. Husband taking wife's name or a shared hyphenated name is virtually nonexistent.

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