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On the Ethics of Rolling Willie Nelson Up and Smoking Him When He Dies: a Roundtable Discussion

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Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with a gender? You may be entitled to compensation‬

Me: *sees any miniscule indication of queerness and is like GREETINGS FELLOW QUEER*

Also me: *assumes that every woman is just being nice and -definitely not- flirting with me*

Hey Instagram added a spot in your profile for pronouns. Nice!

Or:

PRONOUNS ARE STORED IN THE BIO okbyeee

I have decided to just start saying thank you when random strangers tell me happy Mother’s Day. I work very hard to be a good mother to my cats.

My impression of the birds at my feeder today:

Chickadees: oh hey what’s up imma just snack here real quick yum bye see you in a minute

Grackle: HEY does anyone work here, HEY the buffet needs refilling, hellOOOO

Finches: oh my god, stop standing there, you’re SO RUDE, I’m calling my boyfriend. (Boyfriend arrives. In unison:) fuck off, this is our table!! (I go inside) SO rude, we really should complain

Woodpecker: ʇɐǝ oʇ ǝɯᴉʇ 'lɐd ǝɹǝɥʇ ᴉH

The dream is always the queer compound and maybe in that queer compound there are some kids who want to come hang out with my cats and eat baked goods.

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This is, for once, less about the heartbreaking loss of my family-in-law and more about my just being made for being the cool aunt.

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Today in particular I am feeling sad about all the aborted attempts at being an auntie. My one remaining nibling I never see and her mom and I don’t really have a relationship and they have their own weird life.

Something called “nutritional yeast” has no right to be as delicious as it is.

“It’s like baby food, but in a good way.”

-my brain, 8:35 am

I don’t know why but the part where the birds sort of smooshes the nest material down to compress it by stomping on it is just making my life.

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I am watching a robin build a nest in a tree near my window, with binoculars, and it is the coolest bird related thing I have ever seen.

For being an Extremely Online Person I have been so not paying attention to anything lately. Feel kind of guilty about it but also, we are all doing the best we can so.

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Everyone in my life: did you see [some social media post]

I guarantee you I didn’t, it’s not you, it’s me, etc. 😒

Also did y’all know that Orville Peck covered “Fancy”? Imagine Johnny Cash turned a Reba song into a trans sex worker tale. I have literal chills all over.

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Still screaming about this lil nas x video.

Do you ever wake up and think “I wonder what Madonna is doing this morning”?

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