Things you can say in a Zoom call but not your bedroom, go!

“It’s getting a bit crowded, we should take turns”

“I’d like to announce that Linda from HR is moving to a new position!”

@moiety “can we hurry this up? I’d really like to get out of here soon.”

Oh seriously, this could have been an email.


"I can't hear you"
"Does the intern have something to add?"
"I think something is covering your camera"
"Haven't we done this already?"
"That's way too expensive"
"I think I'm breaking up"
"How about we invite that guy from accounting?"

@FiXato @moiety tbf depending on the circumstances the 3rd and the last one and when graceful the second one, too, I guess - these seem not tooooo out of possibility? 🤔 😏

depending on the type of relationship, all (except the breaking up one I guess) aren't too impossible. But I think that in the average vanilla one these still apply. :)

(and no, none of the suggestions are meant to kinkshame)

@moiety "I'm sorry, it seems our connection is breaking up"


"We all need to pull together to push this one through."
"This is proving harder than I expected."
"We need to come together as a group on this one."


@moiety y'all don't mind of I put this on YouTube later, right?

@moiety I'll be honest, I expected a higher turnout.

@moiety Everyone ready to go? Please raise your hand if you need another minute.
@moiety We will live stream this meeting for our employees.

@moiety I'll be muting everyone, use the raise-hand button if you wish to speak.

"Can you move a little bit? I can hear you breathing."


"I'm Sorry, Dave, I can't do that".
"I hope everybody's wearing pants."
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
"Sorry, I thought this was just going to be our regular 1-on-1."

@moiety can we do this at my place? I want to me sure the government isn't spying on us.

"Is this ok for y'all or should I make it bigger?"

@moiety "you really should view this more as a financial relationship"

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