Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?
@moiety third answer:
jealousy is neither healthy nor unhealthy, it's just an emotion
but most of the actions that are identified as being rooted in jealousy are unhealthy
@moiety it’s not “healthy”, having jealousy is as healthy as having no jealousy. but it’s not unhealthy
the way you manage it is another question
As ever, in moderation. If a partner didn't get a little jealous, ever, it tells me that on some level they don't value my attention.
It can very easily become a problem- getting spiteful about it, or defensive- so it's something people need to know how to process, but little moments of jealousy are actually a good sign imo
Opinions on jealousy
@firstname.lastname@example.org I experience jealousy so rarely that I effectively don't have a sense of jealousy, so take this with a grain of salt, but:
Feeling jealous, openly communicating about that with your partner, mutually agreeing on boundaries that suit both of you, and not trying to suppress or repress the emotion are all probably healthy.
Using one's jealousy to excuse controlling behavior and lashing out at one's partner is not healthy or okay, even if many cultures accept/encourage it.
@moiety i don't know. it depends on how it's handled. i'd tend to say no, but you can feel jealous, and deal with it in a healthy manner so...
if the question is like "is jealousy necessary in a healthy relationship", it's no, though
@moiety i'm not sure i have a clear-cut opinion on this. I'm sure everyone would be more comfortable without ever experiencing jealousy. However, it's a feeling that (in my case) will arise now and then, and what can be qualified as "healthy or unhealthy" is how i deal with it.
For me, I though a little jealousy was sane because it showed the other valued the relationship.
But now I think if this is needed, there is something to work on: you can show this value without jealousy, and *that* is sane.
(Look up at ''5 love languages" from G. Chapman)
So, a "little jealousy" can be better than nothing if you don't know better ways, but just the time to learn the others' language ^^
(That applies to all relations)
More queer, more garden.