I feel so sorry for my decade-younger Polish girlfriend, I'll start randomly quoting awful mid-naughts Dadaist internet humour at her and then realise that she was like 4 when it came out.

Me, in faux French accent: "But I am le tired... Okay so have le nap, THEN FIRE ZEE MISSILES!"

Girlfriend: *blank expression*

Me, very Strongbad voice: "Uh... The system... Is down... The system... Is down..."

Girlfriend: *blank expression intensifies*

Me, desperate: "Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama..."

Girlfriend: *she's already left the room at this point*

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Queer Garden

More queer, more garden.