is there anyone one the fedi with experience writing a letter or statement explaining why printing a name-change statement in the paper could be unsafe? like, in a way that the court will take seriously?
This sounds like the kind of thing to consult a lawyer about. (If cost is an obstacle, some legal clinics offer discounted or free services, and some specialize in LGBT issues.)
@email@example.com I'm in a different state from you, but I'll send you a link to what I used when my state still required that. If you're where your profile says, this might also be helpful for you: http://www.equalityillinois.us/about-us/press-releases/law-clinic/ there's a free Illinois name change law clinic that does telephonic aid
More queer, more garden.