jude "the sewer rat" enby @gentlerdarknesses@queer.garden

“Every day
I see or I hear
something
that more or less
kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle
in the haystack
of light.
It is what I was born for—
to look, to listen,
to lose myself
inside this soft world—”

--- Mary Oliver, "Blue Iris: Mindful"

the parts of you they've tried to reprogram were really important. the parts of you they've tried to make you feel ashamed of were parts of you that are so good. there is nothing wrong with you. disrupting straight white allistic norms are so much more important than respectability politics, and i hope you find people who celebrate those parts of you instead of punishing them, because you deserve that.

me, sitting upside-down in my desk chair using my hands to spin it around: do you think stars have feelings

satan, head buried in his hands: shut the fuck up jude ,

and I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking
and I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking
and I gave water to all I thought were thirsty

and that's how I learned how to survive 🌱

💚 here's 40+ PDFs for coping skills, challenging thoughts, managing anger, managing distress, identifying and rating feelings, relaxation, sleep hygiene, and therapist materials

https://depts.washington.edu/hcsats/PDF/TF-%20CBT/pages/cognitive_coping.html

"(…) this patina
of slightly bruised longing, this shimmer of
I think I knew you when we were children,
this look of I’ve loved you ever since you were born
and probably longer than that"

— Paul Hostovsky, from “Everyone was Beautiful”

firing up the computer to see all them sweet sweet bleps

also, if anyone knows of a place i could find weighted blankets on the heavier side pls lmk??

for two supposedly intuitive creatures it's remarkable how often the cats divebomb each other when the recipient of the divebomb isn't in the mood

this thought is coming on the heels of that movie leap year where amy adams has to find her boyfriend in time to propose bc if you're a woman you can only propose to your partner on a leap year

in every enby-getting-married story i've ever heard one of the enbies proposes to their partner who in turn pulls out a ring bc they were waiting for the right time to ask

t-rex come thruuu

the people who leave yelp reviews for resturants as if they're on the judging panel for fucking top chef or something are the same ppl who think boomer is a slur

i've never heard of sex and i'm not about to start now

i posted this earlier i think n then deleted it because i have a hard time parsing whether a selfie is good to post on social media

trembles gently through the space-time continuum

nailed it is a very good show to watch when you're depressed it's very light and sometimes wholesome and funny

marry someone before they have the chance to see the way you dance and then break out all your embarrassing moves AFTERWARDS when they're legally committed to you for life

jon: i think..i'm gonna follow hawthorn

me: !! (but why now? im surprised you didn't follow them earlier)

jon: they have very good punctuation opinions

me: oh my god.

we should get him a custom sweater that says 'my other favorite toy is a zip tie'

he's gently patting at it to encourage us to play with him oh my god

kafka just dragged a toy longer than he is into my room, hopped up onto my bed with it, sat triumphantly down on my pillow and laid it next to me, my cat is a golden retriever

fuck yes newsletter time

destroying my hole-ridden stomach with caffeine first thing in the morning hey how are you

sure i might hate myself but at least im not a class traitor whose job depends upon enforcing and upholding white supremacy