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toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

Hey,

I'm looking for resources about toxic masculinity, hypermasculinity.
Especially resources destined for people who are trying to "get out" of those principles and change. I'm guessing such resources would be addressed to men but that's not mandatory

Reading material is fine but not very accessible to me, video essays or podcast would be better.

Would anyone have recommendation plz?

:boost_requested:

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes first video in F D Signifier's series about the manosphere, it connects pretty well to that.

There's quite a few episodes

youtu.be/s1FkO7Tr70A

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@maloki @freyja_wildes yess! F.D. is amazing, and I want to add Khadija Mbowe on YouTube to that.

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@human_dude @maloki @freyja_wildes Gonna second both these suggestions. 👍

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes not a 'help' resource per se, but nevertheless very interesting video essays on toxic masculinity in popular culture : Pop Culture Detective

yewtu.be/channel/UCHiwtz2tCEfS

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@luka @freyja_wildes I came here to mention Pop Culture Detective also. Great channel, as is Innuendo Studios, mentioned further down the thread.

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes I've heard good things about the MensLib subreddit

re: toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@derwinmcgeary thanks for the mention! @freyja_wildes the community/event in the linked post is no longer active in that form, but I'm still involved w/ the core leadership group and we're figuring out our next phase. The founder has a few YouTube videos that might be helpful: youtube.com/c/DanMahle

Personally my journey has been as much about leaning into feminism and reimagining "man"-ness as about rejecting/escaping toxic masculinity (1/?)

re: toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@derwinmcgeary @freyja_wildes a lot of the resources I rely on are about gender, race, etc. through an intersectional lens vs. being specifically about & for men. Podcasts that have helped me include:
- Code Switch
- Unladylike
- Stuff Mom Never Told You
- Let's Talk Bruh
- Srsly Wrong
- Respectful Parenting

With most of these it's about immersing myself in perspectives that are not toxic-masc by default (1/?)

re: toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@derwinmcgeary @freyja_wildes so essentially I just try to shift my personal "overton window", and then I have (and am rebuilding since I recently moved) a small-group men's circle that I can process things with and offer mutual support & accountability.

hope this is helping. ask me anything!

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes bell hooks has a book called The Will to Change and there are a number of podcast discussions and audio readings of it on YouTube.

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes bell hooks' The Will To Change is a great book on the topic, available in audiobook. There's also a nice podcast that might be a more gentle starting point for folks, called Man Up, produced by Slate and hosted by Aymann Ismail (presumably all the other podcasts with this name are to be avoided!). Sadly it's no longer being produced but there are nearly 50 episodes still available.

@freyja_wildes

Pop Culture Detective's series, especially his stuff on the Big Bang Theory, I think is a great place to start.

youtube.com/watch?v=X3-hOigoxH

If you end up compiling a list, that would be cool, something like "Awesome Toxic Masculinity" (if you know the Awesome reference).

I'll say that for a man, while there are resources by women, there's a more natural inclination to listen to another man talk about the subject.

1/

@freyja_wildes

For women, I think all women know toxic masculinity already, without an essay, but that doesn't mean they don't also participate in it. For example, by saying that men who express emotion are not sexy, or by excusing their son "boys will be boys", or "don't be a girl!".

To that end, from the same series:

Everyone needs Waymond

youtube.com/watch?v=O7YnbGszcb

Still I'd love to see a collection of resources, especially one that also addresses dating, as a counter to PUA.

2/end

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes

One of the most challenging aspects of addressing Toxic Masculinity for men is the term itself. Even now, I find the term cringy at best.

This frames the conversation wrongly, as a conflict of polar opposites- of men on one side and women on the other.

There are male characters who are extremely masculine who do not conform to toxic masculinity- two that come to find (and I'll find the video for) are Drax and Yondu Udonta.

1/

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes

They are emotionally strong, expressive with their feelings, and have other traits that code them strongly as men, but do not enforce rigid masculinity onto others.

Another comic example is Boyle from Brooklyn 99. His behavior does not change over the series, but the way it's addressed does- from "Look at this feminine man" at the start to the realization that these same traits make him an excellent father at the end.

2/

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes

What we need isn't "less masculinity" but "emotional flexibility"- the ability for men to express their full range of interests and emotions without that being denigrated either by other men (as Toxic Masculinity theory posits) or by women (which I've seen and experienced myself).

An alternative term I've heard is "Macho Culture". "Rape Culture" is similar but not quite the same.

To that end:

youtube.com/watch?v=fmkFdAMFGX

3/end

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes videos-wise i'd go to Innuendo Studios' alt right playbook first, as a white toxicity deprogramming pedagogical tool, and then proceed with FD Signifier's manosphere videos maybe, especially his earlier stuff first as a more softer intro

it might be worth adding some Shaun and Mia Mulder material in between maybe

i'd also show Folding Ideas' essay on flat earth and qanon & line goes up as complementary material for usual comorbidities

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes I'm not sure if this is more than tangentially relevant, but r/incelexit seems to be focused on emotional support among men who don't want to see themselves as incels anymore.

toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes Finntastic Mr Fox on YouTube has a few videos addressing this topic. One addresses his perspective on and experiences with toxic masculinity as a trans man: youtu.be/HPVg9JDE84s The next discusses replacing toxic masculinity with a more positive version of masculinity: youtu.be/46bUgLOGp1A He also recently did a video on the manosphere in response to F.D. Signifier, but these two speak more directly to this topic.

re: toxic masculinity ressources, help, boost plz 

@freyja_wildes "Je ne suis pas un homme facile", a French movie about gender stereotypes. The plot is that a man wake up one day in a world that discriminate men. A very effective movie.

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